"Money and time are the heaviest burdens of life, and the unhappiest of all mortals are those who have more of either than they know how to use." Samuel Johnson

Thursday, May 22, 2008

The Deep, Deep Valley

When I suffered the debilitating loss of my two first babies, the thing that I heard the most was that this, in the future, was going to give me an opportunity to minister to other women suffering in the same way. From the moment that I was able to think clearly (about a year later), I waited patiently for that opportunity to arise. Yesterday, it did.

We have a young mother in our community who has a little boy Benjamin's age. She found out that she was expecting again last month, and immediately after she was diagnosed with a blood clot in the brain. Yesterday, she was told that the baby was not going to make it through all of the treatments that were necessary to save her life. So it came down to her life or the baby's. There's that opportunity I had been waiting for.

As I stood by her hospital bed with her bruised hand in mine, and her bruised heart in God's, I wept. I prayed. I longed to take the pain that I know so well out of her body. I praise God for the opportunity, but I'm not sure that I am thankful yet. That will come perhaps with more time.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Like putting pants on a one year old

Benjamin has the great talent of taking what would be a two minute task and making it five times as long. When it is time for me to put on his pants, I make sure to take a deep breath before I begin, because I know now that it will not be as easy as it should be!

I begin by putting his right foot into the pair of pants. Immediately, this foot is removed, and the action is repeated at least five times amidst various comments from myself such as, "Benjamin, that's enough!" and, "Okay, seriously now, it's time to put the pants on", as if this makes any difference to him! When the right foot is finally on, we begin on the left foot. By the time the left foot is in the pants, the right foot has been shaken out and, in no time, the left foot follows.

Many times, at this point, I decide to do both feet at once. This is something that I believe comes from my own childhood as I have vague memories of my feet getting stuck at the knee of the pants. Benjamin reacts in the same way that I probably did thirty years ago. He screams and fake cries until the pants are either kicked or pulled off. He's really good at it!

Inevitably, I either distract him for five seconds during which I magically pull the pants on or I call his father. The latter is much less frustrating and allows me two minutes alone in the bathroom to pull myself together and possibly put my own pants on (one leg at a time now).

It was during this exercise today that I realized how much it is like life. Once you finally get one part where you want it, it is always time to work out another. After all is said and done, however, you can always look back and laugh. And when the pants are finally on and snapped into place, we start on the shirt...