The Deep, Deep Valley

When I suffered the debilitating loss of my two first babies, the thing that I heard the most was that this, in the future, was going to give me an opportunity to minister to other women suffering in the same way. From the moment that I was able to think clearly (about a year later), I waited patiently for that opportunity to arise. Yesterday, it did.

We have a young mother in our community who has a little boy Benjamin's age. She found out that she was expecting again last month, and immediately after she was diagnosed with a blood clot in the brain. Yesterday, she was told that the baby was not going to make it through all of the treatments that were necessary to save her life. So it came down to her life or the baby's. There's that opportunity I had been waiting for.

As I stood by her hospital bed with her bruised hand in mine, and her bruised heart in God's, I wept. I prayed. I longed to take the pain that I know so well out of her body. I praise God for the opportunity, but I'm not sure that I am thankful yet. That will come perhaps with more time.

Like putting pants on a one year old

Benjamin has the great talent of taking what would be a two minute task and making it five times as long. When it is time for me to put on his pants, I make sure to take a deep breath before I begin, because I know now that it will not be as easy as it should be!

I begin by putting his right foot into the pair of pants. Immediately, this foot is removed, and the action is repeated at least five times amidst various comments from myself such as, "Benjamin, that's enough!" and, "Okay, seriously now, it's time to put the pants on", as if this makes any difference to him! When the right foot is finally on, we begin on the left foot. By the time the left foot is in the pants, the right foot has been shaken out and, in no time, the left foot follows.

Many times, at this point, I decide to do both feet at once. This is something that I believe comes from my own childhood as I have vague memories of my feet getting stuck at the knee of the pants. Benjamin reacts in the same way that I probably did thirty years ago. He screams and fake cries until the pants are either kicked or pulled off. He's really good at it!

Inevitably, I either distract him for five seconds during which I magically pull the pants on or I call his father. The latter is much less frustrating and allows me two minutes alone in the bathroom to pull myself together and possibly put my own pants on (one leg at a time now).

It was during this exercise today that I realized how much it is like life. Once you finally get one part where you want it, it is always time to work out another. After all is said and done, however, you can always look back and laugh. And when the pants are finally on and snapped into place, we start on the shirt...

Mish Mash

There are times when I am so happy just sitting with Samuel and watching Benjamin. But it is at those times when I think, "wait, I need to write this down or video tape it, or something. I don't want to ever forget it!" Benjamin is definitely a morning person. As I am going up the stairs to get him in the morning, I hear him say, "Hi! Hi!" And when I finally get there (there are a lot of stairs!), there is an unforgettable smile on his face.

There are also the funny moments. He has become quite taken with the phone. Now, he grabs anything resembling a phone, puts it up to his ear, and walks around the house talking. It is so funny, but again, I need to tape it! Often I think about it and I realize that someday, when I think about his toddler years, it is going to be a mish mash of all of the amazing things that he does.

He amazes me. Samuel and I often wonder where he gets his extroverted nature. Both Samuel and I are introverts, so we laugh when we go out and he says hi to every imaginable person (but especially women...).

Well, back to my happy, mish mash life!

The Best Mommy

Last week, we went out to camp for the World Services Rally. Since we had to leave the house at 7 AM, I wanted to make sure that we had everything ready the night before. Our uniforms were ironed and ready, the house was somewhat clean, Benjamin's clothes were laid out.



And, of course, I packed the diaper bag. I thought myself such an organized and responsible mommy as I packed extra clothes, extra wipes, extra food, extra formula, and every bottle we own into the diaper bag. I went to sleep relieved that I had thought of everything I would need for my little boy the next day!

The morning went off without a hitch, and soon we were at camp with 500 people. Suddenly, I realized that Benjamin needed a new diaper. I grabbed the well-stocked diaper bag and rushed to the bathroom. As I reached into the bag, I just shook my head as I realized that there was one thing I forgot...the diapers!

Now how, I ask you, could I forget the one thing that the bag is named for??!! There goes the "Best Mommy" award for this year, but perhaps we can give out a "Best Intentions" award, I'm first in line!

An Audience of Two

I used to love to take a nice, long, hot shower. Any stress or worry would fall away with the water, and I would daydream about my life or about the day, whatever came to mind. Yes, I used to love to take a shower. That is, of course, until they went from being thirty minutes to thirty seconds! Instead of being a relaxing distraction, they are now necessary as I wash off dog hair, baby spit up, and whatever else has landed on me throughout the morning.
The funniest part about my present-day showers is the ever present, ever attentive, ever interesting audience of two. My three year old dog, Luke, and my twelve month old son, Benjamin, make their way into the bathroom in order to make sure that everything is okay. Perhaps they want to make sure that I don’t miss a spot, although I suspect they just want to make sure that I am not having too much fun without them!
I love my little audience of two! They are always there, always watching, always by my side. I vaguely remember a time when I was single, on my own. What did I do with all of that free time? Oh, I remember. I read a lot of books, ran a lot of miles, and ate a lot of food! I also napped regularly. I still do these things; the only difference is that I do them in five minute increments, in between feeding and cleaning the baby and feeding and cleaning the dog.
I would say that my favorite thing about these two is the fact that everything that I do seems to be funny to them. The other day, I was practicing a sacred dance. I was taking myself rather seriously until, around the same time, Benjamin began to laugh hysterically at my hand movements and Luke began to jump up and push me over. It was as if they were saying to me, “Come on! You are not smiling enough! Let’s play!”
I love my little audience of two. It often makes me wonder what I ever did without them!

Two if by Sea

Benjamin was in his glory in Chile, surrounded by his three cousins, Constanza, Isidora, and Pia. The elder two doted on him every second that they could while Pia, only coming up on two years old, was quite jealous (check out her face in the picture) and made sure everyone knew that she was not happy about sharing her high chair and baby food with this intruder from the North!

Having already met and spent quite a bit of time with his boy cousins, Elijah and Caleb, it meant a lot to us for Benjamin to be able to get to know his beautiful girl cousins. He had a great time with the girls, even Pia who finally warmed up to him by the time we left.

The girls eagerly learned some English while we were there. They would say, "How big's the baby?", and "kisses!", and would giggle when he responded. When they will be together again no one can say, but they have a bond now that will remain.

I wasn't born yesterday! I was born a year ago!

Oh the stress! Oh the joy! Oh the excitement of a baby's first birthday party! We are so blessed to have Hollie and Kristin in our family, without them, today would not have been the same! His party was good, but they made it great!

The most exciting addition to the party were my parents who surprised us last night by traveling all the way from Ohio. Considering that all of my family knew, I was shocked that they all were able to keep the secret. I can't remember the last time a secret like that was truly kept!!! In all honesty, the following is how a secret is usually "kept" in the See family (and I am including myself). "I have a secret!" "What is it?" "I can't tell you!" "Come on, tell me and I promise I'll act surprised!" "Okay...here it is..." So, in light of this, congrats to all of you!

The best part about the day was that Benjamin truly enjoyed it as much as the rest of us did! I was cautious, having read the "What not to do at a 1st birthday party" chapter of "What to expect the first year". Thankfully, it all went well and he "preformed" for all of the guests. Even the Alarcon grandparents were represented in the blanket that Mama Nancy made and embroidered for Benjamin. It was so very special.

Thanks to everyone who came, it meant a lot to us! We love you!