The Sun

In the late afternoon, on a summer day, the sun, soon to set, peeks through the kitchen window to bid farewell until the morning.

It is a precious moment as we, the sun and I, say silent words, make silent promises, and get ready for the nighttime.

He is one of my oldest and dearest of friends, we met the day I was born, and have seen one another almost every day since. He offers me warmth and light, I give him a smile and encourage him to shine.

When the sun finally sets, I am sad, if only for a moment. The kitchen is now dark, devoid of that golden glow that he offers in his presence.

Whether I win or whether I lose, the sun shines on me with the same warmth and light. Did you win? Your "sun" shines on you with an immense glow, I've seen it! But if you had lost, that glow would have been just as golden!

Consider your love... God has given you a prize worth more than one hundred sunrises and sunsets! Treasure this precious moment, and get ready for tomorrow.

Jenny Kathleen Alarcon

Of babies, pancakes, and the importance of a listening ear

Why are some people friends with others? I've come to realize that a connection is not only made with people who are like you. Some will tell you that if you are not of the same race, generation, political belief, or socio-economic background as another, you cannot be friends.

Well, I beg to differ! I have a friend with whom, on the surface, I have very little in common. As a matter of fact, after really thinking about it, the only three things that we really have in common are babies and a love of God and pancakes. How these three things have made us so close, I must admit I don't understand, since I have struggled to even be around certain people who have pages of things in common with me!

However, I have learned to appreciate the gift of friendship, no matter what the connection. So I will continue to love my baby, stuff my face with pancakes, and follow God's direction and not the world's!

The Deep, Deep Valley

When I suffered the debilitating loss of my two first babies, the thing that I heard the most was that this, in the future, was going to give me an opportunity to minister to other women suffering in the same way. From the moment that I was able to think clearly (about a year later), I waited patiently for that opportunity to arise. Yesterday, it did.

We have a young mother in our community who has a little boy Benjamin's age. She found out that she was expecting again last month, and immediately after she was diagnosed with a blood clot in the brain. Yesterday, she was told that the baby was not going to make it through all of the treatments that were necessary to save her life. So it came down to her life or the baby's. There's that opportunity I had been waiting for.

As I stood by her hospital bed with her bruised hand in mine, and her bruised heart in God's, I wept. I prayed. I longed to take the pain that I know so well out of her body. I praise God for the opportunity, but I'm not sure that I am thankful yet. That will come perhaps with more time.

Like putting pants on a one year old

Benjamin has the great talent of taking what would be a two minute task and making it five times as long. When it is time for me to put on his pants, I make sure to take a deep breath before I begin, because I know now that it will not be as easy as it should be!

I begin by putting his right foot into the pair of pants. Immediately, this foot is removed, and the action is repeated at least five times amidst various comments from myself such as, "Benjamin, that's enough!" and, "Okay, seriously now, it's time to put the pants on", as if this makes any difference to him! When the right foot is finally on, we begin on the left foot. By the time the left foot is in the pants, the right foot has been shaken out and, in no time, the left foot follows.

Many times, at this point, I decide to do both feet at once. This is something that I believe comes from my own childhood as I have vague memories of my feet getting stuck at the knee of the pants. Benjamin reacts in the same way that I probably did thirty years ago. He screams and fake cries until the pants are either kicked or pulled off. He's really good at it!

Inevitably, I either distract him for five seconds during which I magically pull the pants on or I call his father. The latter is much less frustrating and allows me two minutes alone in the bathroom to pull myself together and possibly put my own pants on (one leg at a time now).

It was during this exercise today that I realized how much it is like life. Once you finally get one part where you want it, it is always time to work out another. After all is said and done, however, you can always look back and laugh. And when the pants are finally on and snapped into place, we start on the shirt...

Mish Mash

There are times when I am so happy just sitting with Samuel and watching Benjamin. But it is at those times when I think, "wait, I need to write this down or video tape it, or something. I don't want to ever forget it!" Benjamin is definitely a morning person. As I am going up the stairs to get him in the morning, I hear him say, "Hi! Hi!" And when I finally get there (there are a lot of stairs!), there is an unforgettable smile on his face.

There are also the funny moments. He has become quite taken with the phone. Now, he grabs anything resembling a phone, puts it up to his ear, and walks around the house talking. It is so funny, but again, I need to tape it! Often I think about it and I realize that someday, when I think about his toddler years, it is going to be a mish mash of all of the amazing things that he does.

He amazes me. Samuel and I often wonder where he gets his extroverted nature. Both Samuel and I are introverts, so we laugh when we go out and he says hi to every imaginable person (but especially women...).

Well, back to my happy, mish mash life!

The Best Mommy

Last week, we went out to camp for the World Services Rally. Since we had to leave the house at 7 AM, I wanted to make sure that we had everything ready the night before. Our uniforms were ironed and ready, the house was somewhat clean, Benjamin's clothes were laid out.



And, of course, I packed the diaper bag. I thought myself such an organized and responsible mommy as I packed extra clothes, extra wipes, extra food, extra formula, and every bottle we own into the diaper bag. I went to sleep relieved that I had thought of everything I would need for my little boy the next day!

The morning went off without a hitch, and soon we were at camp with 500 people. Suddenly, I realized that Benjamin needed a new diaper. I grabbed the well-stocked diaper bag and rushed to the bathroom. As I reached into the bag, I just shook my head as I realized that there was one thing I forgot...the diapers!

Now how, I ask you, could I forget the one thing that the bag is named for??!! There goes the "Best Mommy" award for this year, but perhaps we can give out a "Best Intentions" award, I'm first in line!

An Audience of Two

I used to love to take a nice, long, hot shower. Any stress or worry would fall away with the water, and I would daydream about my life or about the day, whatever came to mind. Yes, I used to love to take a shower. That is, of course, until they went from being thirty minutes to thirty seconds! Instead of being a relaxing distraction, they are now necessary as I wash off dog hair, baby spit up, and whatever else has landed on me throughout the morning.
The funniest part about my present-day showers is the ever present, ever attentive, ever interesting audience of two. My three year old dog, Luke, and my twelve month old son, Benjamin, make their way into the bathroom in order to make sure that everything is okay. Perhaps they want to make sure that I don’t miss a spot, although I suspect they just want to make sure that I am not having too much fun without them!
I love my little audience of two! They are always there, always watching, always by my side. I vaguely remember a time when I was single, on my own. What did I do with all of that free time? Oh, I remember. I read a lot of books, ran a lot of miles, and ate a lot of food! I also napped regularly. I still do these things; the only difference is that I do them in five minute increments, in between feeding and cleaning the baby and feeding and cleaning the dog.
I would say that my favorite thing about these two is the fact that everything that I do seems to be funny to them. The other day, I was practicing a sacred dance. I was taking myself rather seriously until, around the same time, Benjamin began to laugh hysterically at my hand movements and Luke began to jump up and push me over. It was as if they were saying to me, “Come on! You are not smiling enough! Let’s play!”
I love my little audience of two. It often makes me wonder what I ever did without them!

Two if by Sea

Benjamin was in his glory in Chile, surrounded by his three cousins, Constanza, Isidora, and Pia. The elder two doted on him every second that they could while Pia, only coming up on two years old, was quite jealous (check out her face in the picture) and made sure everyone knew that she was not happy about sharing her high chair and baby food with this intruder from the North!

Having already met and spent quite a bit of time with his boy cousins, Elijah and Caleb, it meant a lot to us for Benjamin to be able to get to know his beautiful girl cousins. He had a great time with the girls, even Pia who finally warmed up to him by the time we left.

The girls eagerly learned some English while we were there. They would say, "How big's the baby?", and "kisses!", and would giggle when he responded. When they will be together again no one can say, but they have a bond now that will remain.

I wasn't born yesterday! I was born a year ago!

Oh the stress! Oh the joy! Oh the excitement of a baby's first birthday party! We are so blessed to have Hollie and Kristin in our family, without them, today would not have been the same! His party was good, but they made it great!

The most exciting addition to the party were my parents who surprised us last night by traveling all the way from Ohio. Considering that all of my family knew, I was shocked that they all were able to keep the secret. I can't remember the last time a secret like that was truly kept!!! In all honesty, the following is how a secret is usually "kept" in the See family (and I am including myself). "I have a secret!" "What is it?" "I can't tell you!" "Come on, tell me and I promise I'll act surprised!" "Okay...here it is..." So, in light of this, congrats to all of you!

The best part about the day was that Benjamin truly enjoyed it as much as the rest of us did! I was cautious, having read the "What not to do at a 1st birthday party" chapter of "What to expect the first year". Thankfully, it all went well and he "preformed" for all of the guests. Even the Alarcon grandparents were represented in the blanket that Mama Nancy made and embroidered for Benjamin. It was so very special.

Thanks to everyone who came, it meant a lot to us! We love you!

That's just about right!!

My friend Elissa and I worked at Camp Sebago in Maine together about 400 years ago. I was checking out her blog the other day when I came across this picture. So I borrowed it. I love it because, when I saw it I thought, "That's just about right!" You can ask Samuel, my mom, or my sister, Hollie. This was me, except with brown hair.

Homemade Baby Food

We have returned, happy but exhausted, from our vacation in Chile. I had thought that I would have long stretches of time during which I could write about everything we were doing there, but alas I only posted once! Well, we did everything from swimming in a lake at the base of an active volcano to meeting Benjamin's great grandmother, Olga (the name says it all, by the way!).

We all have favorite parts of the vacation, but the most interesting for me was the homemade baby food. Every day, either my mother in law or the housekeeper (another thing I wish I had at times) would put a whole bunch of things from chicken to potatoes to spinach in a pot, boil it, and blend it. The first time that this was done, I thought, "There is no way he is going to eat it!". But eat it he did, every day for the rest of the vacation.

Of course now, when it is time for him to eat, he looks at me with those huge brown eyes as if to say, "I'm ready for my homemade baby food, mommy. You can put that store bought stuff away." So today, for the first time in my life, I made baby food. I do believe that I am one of the last people that anyone would expect to do so, but a baby's got to eat, right? Well, I can't afford to bring my mother in law over, so tomorrow I will boil some stuff, blend it, and hold my breath!

Chilean Ents

For those of you who have read ¨The Lord of the Rings¨, you will be happy to know that I have found the Chilean Ents. Those huge trees that talk and walk are alive and well and all over Chile! Of course I have yet to hear them talk or see them walk, but I´m sure that I will experience this before we leave.

We have had such a wonderful time here, and the most beautiful thing is seeing Benjamin with his Tata and Mama Nancy. They are so happy to have him here and he is enjoying every minute of it. His grandfather, who runs 2 miles every morning, takes him out to walk in the park. His grandmother makes him homemade baby food and feeds him almost constantly it seems!

When I saw pictures of Samuel at Benjamin´s age, I couldn´t believe it. They look almost identical!! I also was able to meet the infamous Abuela Olga, Juan Carlos´ mother. She certainly loves to talk. She certainly has her opinions.

Well, I´ll upload pictures later. For now, it´s off to spy on the Ents.

Love you all!

To Chile, by way of Canada

We are flying out tomorrow to go to Chile. Because we were looking for a more economical flight, we went with Air Canada. This means, oddly enough, that we will be leaving New York, flying to Canada, and then flying from Canada to Chile. I know it doesn't make too much sense, but the important thing is that the Alarcon grandparents will finally meet Benjamin!

This trip really is all about Benjamin. We have never before flown with a baby, so this is a new experience and really very overwhelming, for me at least. Samuel, of course, says, "Everything will be fine!" Sure it will, until he stinks up the airplane with a messy diaper and wakes everyone up at 2:36 AM crying! Hollie tells me to take a deep breath and relax, which sounds nice but is something that I won't be able to do until we are touching down in Santiago on Monday afternoon.

We will write from Chile to tell you how the flight was, and more importantly to tell you how Benjamin likes his daddy's place of birth! Talk to you soon.

I AM A MAN

Fear mingled with tears, and a statement made without a word; this was the state of things in 1968 when a 42 year old Robert Kennedy was shot. His death followed that of his brother, JFK, and Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., as well as thousands of unnamed martyrs in the quest for civil human rights.
As Robert Kennedy was being rushed away, grown men who had seen their share of pain and disappointment in life, sat on the floor and wept. They wept because any innocence that was left had just been driven away in an ambulance.
The 60’s was a decade during which young people stood up for their civil rights and for the civil rights of the masses that had been ignored for so long. College students held countless sit-ins and refused to go unheard. They were beaten, arrested, and killed all in the hopes of freedom.
It was during this time that a group of African American garbage men went on strike. They were extremely overworked, utterly underpaid, and lived life feeling as though they were less than human.
Their method was not to shout, yell, or force signs in the faces of passerby’s. Instead, they walked silently in a straight line wearing signs that stated, “I AM A MAN”. This statement spoke volumes! Far more important than money or hours was the need for someone to acknowledge that they mattered just as much as anyone else.
In the book of Luke, we become acquainted with the woman who had led a sinful life. She too sought civil rights. She too felt as though she was treated as less than human. When she took action, her statement also spoke louder than she could ever have imagined.
Fear mingled with tears as she knelt as Jesus’ feet and began to wash them with her love. With all eyes on her, she was saying, “I am a human being, just like you!” Behind her, men whispered their disapproval, but in front of her, the only man that mattered encouraged her to do what she had gone there for.
I wonder how many times we, or our congregation, have watched less-than-perfect people come into our services and said, along with the Pharisees of the Bible and the racists of the 60’s, “Who do they think they are? They don’t belong here!” Such judgment does not belong in the Church.
Everyone who reads this wants to think that they are not judgmental, but we have to be honest with ourselves or we will not change. There was a question in a study that I recently participated in that asked, “Do you think that you are more like the judgmental Pharisee or the Broken Woman?” I had to be honest and say that there were times when I felt like both. I have been on the floor, broken and unable to speak, but I have also, unfortunately, been the one to judge.
When we follow the example of Jesus Christ, we are reminded again and again that when we initially think that someone doesn’t belong; they are the ones that need Him the most. We see fear mingled with tears on a daily basis. This combination calls for a change, and we are called to be the catalysts for that transformation, not the roadblocks. It is our responsibility to live by example so that our people will learn and understand that human rights is still an issue, that it is our issue, and we can change the world.
Jesus Christ came and started a revolution. The 60’s brought along another revolution worldwide as people realized that the world was not as it should be. Now we have the opportunity to have a revolution of our own! We recognize the need for change and turn our backs on it. The woman washing Jesus’ feet went out of her comfort zone in order to make a statement. “You say you want a revolution?” Well it won’t be easy, but here’s your chance!

Un regalo de Dios

Que alegria pronto estaremos viajando a Chile con Jenny y Benjamin. No lo puedo creer pronto mis padres conoceran a Benjamin. Para mi es muy importante que mi hijo conozca a sus abuelos, ya que seria la primera vez que ellos pueden disfrutar a su nieto, mas que eso, ver las cosas que Benjamin puede hacer y conocer lo precioso que es. No puedo creer lo grande que esta Benjamin, si pareciera que fue ayer que llego al mundo, no hay forma de agradecer a Dios por este regalo precioso.

Cada vez que miro a mi hijo o hablo con el, pienso en aquellas criaturas que viven sin sus padres, sin tener a nadie que los ame y los proteja. Cada vez que mi hijo se golpea a mi me duele, al verlo llorar conmueve mi corazon, al verlo reirse me trae alegria, no puedo explicar lo que siento dentro de mi. Espero que los que lean este pensamiento entiendan que nuestros hijos son unos regalos de Dios. No juguetes que pueden ser maltratados como si no fueran importantes. Yo le pido a mi Dios que me ayude a ser el mejor papa del mundo, para amar y criar a Benjamin y estar presente en los momentos importantes de su vida.

If I were Queen of the Foreeeeest!

When I was a young girl, my mother would tell me how much she loved me. I think that she thought that I didn't understand quite how much, so she would often follow it with, "When you have your own child, you'll understand." This was often said with tears in her eyes, and I must admit that I wondered why she was so emotional!

Here I am, with a child of my own, and I cry when I tell him how much I love him. Motherhood certainly causes one to step back and see what is really important in life. Worry also comes with the territory, as well as extreme defensiveness. I am a defensive person anyway, but now I am like a proud lioness protecting her cub from any and all threats. Of course many of them are created or intensified in my own mind, but it doesn't change the fact that it really hurts, something that I didn't realize would be so powerful.

However, seeing so many young women who don't take their roles as "mother" at all seriously, I would rather be a protective mommy than one who doesn't care. Notice, I didn't say 'overportective'! I'd say that the biggest surprise to me is that I am a much more laid back mother than I ever thought I would be. Thank God for that!

World Traveling Baby

It has been said that all mothers honestly believe that their babies are the most beautiful in the world. However, I would like to introduce you to Benjamin who really is the most beautiful!

We went for his passport last month because we are traveling to Chile on February 24th to visit Samuel's family. I have never seen such a cute passport photo! I think that if everyone's passport photo were as cute as his, there would be no problems getting in and out of countries!

Benjamin has begun to make new friends at Church. He is fascinated by children and they are enamored with him, so it works out for both sides! Since he doesn't have to share at home, however, he's still trying to understand why he has to at church. He'll catch on soon enough!

My second first blog!

A year and a half ago, I decided to start a blog. I started it up and exactly one posting later, stopped. Granted there were a lot of things happening in my life at the time; my husband and I moved from New Brunswick to Hackensack, soon after we got pregnant, etc. and so forth. Regardless, I have decided to blog once again. So here is my second first blog, my second first posting!

Since the first posting, we have had an addition to our small family. Benjamin Joel is now nearly 11 months old, which is very hard to believe! He is crawling very fast, walking when holding someone's hand, and he has 8 teeth. Once I figure out how to post pictures, he will surely be all over this blog.

Well, this is it for now, and soon you will be able to read my first second posting ever!
God Bless!